stark reality
Now Playing: "every move i make" by some kids singing group

"but he said to them, 'you give them something to eat.' they said, 'we have no more than five loaves and two fish - unless we are to go and buy food for all these people.'" Luke 9:13

 I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO WHAT JESUS WANTS/COMMANDS ME TO DO!!!

that is a fact.

oftentimes, i want to do things that are "me-sized" - stuff that i can handle. but God calls me to do things that remind me that i need Him - totally - or else it is an impossible mission. (side note - "me-sized" things bring glory to me - "God-sized" things bring glory to God - and God wants the glory!)

- God, without You i can do NOTHING. help me to remember that and help me to cling to You!

getting through the blah
Now Playing: the weakest by emery

"then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle." exodus 40:34

 let me tell ya - it took me awhile to get to this verse!!! in my bible reading plan, the assignment was exodus 37-40. i started it on friday and didn't finish it until monday! why? because i was finding it immensely boring... really. yes, i was troubled by that. yes, i knew i should be reading more. yes, i was saying 'God, all of Your Word is inspired, why is this here?'

but still, the minute details of making the ark, making the table, making the lampstand, making the altar of incense, making the altar of burnt offering, making the bronze basin, making the court, the materials for the tabernacle, making the priestly garments... let me just say - it was dragging. and i wanted to say "i get it, they made it all, let's just move on!!!"

yesterday, though, i bit the bullet. i prayed, 'God, help me to get something, anything out of this.' and well, in chapter 39 i started to see something. "as the Lord had commanded moses" - this phrase started to appear. not once, not twice... 17 times in chapters 39-40! now, it doesn't take a genius to notice: this must be important - everything was done as the Lord commanded... and then the payoff at the end of chapter 40? the glory and presence of the Lord to lead and guide His people!

and so i thought about it. sometimes this whole obedience thing can seem pretty drab. sometimes obeying God can even feel like going through the motions. love your neighbor, have the attitude of Christ, work with all your heart, etc. etc. etc. BUT the payoff is well worth it: eternal glory that far outweighs them all!!! (read psalm 73 if you want to do some more research/thinking on this topic OR if you're just feeling blah)

cs lewis puts it well in 'the weight of glory', "the reward he is going to get will, in actual fact, be a natural or proper reward, but he will not know that till he has got it. of course, he gets it gradually; enjoyment creeps in upon the mere drudgery, and nobody could point to a day or an hour when the one ceased and the other began. but it is just in so far as he approaches the reward that he becomes able to desire it for its own sake; indeed, the power of so desiring it is itself a preliminary reward."

- God, help me to keep going!

a model
Now Playing: playing with fire by emery

"i keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation,

• so that you may know Him better

i pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know

• the hope to which He has called you,
• the riches of His glorious inheritance in the the saints,
• and His incomparably great power for us who believe."

ephesians 1:17-19

...God, may this be the model and heart-cry of my prayer for those to whom you have entrusted me to minister!

i will eat meat
Now Playing: buddy holly by weezer

"when the LORD you God enlarges your territory, as He has promised you, and you say, 'i will eat meat,' because you crave meat, you may eat meat whenever you desire." deuteronomy 12:20

 ok - to be honest, when i first noticed this verse, i chuckled. really. just read it - kinda funny, huh?

but then i thought about it some more, and knowing that God doesn't just toss verses in scripture for laughs - i began to ask - why?

well, first i went and read the context. the chapter's about proper worship of God and doing it His way and in His place not "according to all that we are doing here today, everyone doing whatever is right in his own eyes." hmmmm...

think about it. when my life is centered around the proper worship of God, my desires are ok! God's not trying to make my life miserable. He just wants me properly focused. and when i am - I CAN *EAT MEAT* IF I WANT TO! (*fill in various desires*)

a couple other verses come to mind:

"delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  psalm 37:4

"but whoever has doubts is condemned if he eates, because his eating is not from faith. for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." romans 14:23

...God, keep me focused on You - YOUR WAY not mine - that my desires may spring from Your heart!

a dichotomy
Now Playing: a glass can only spill what it contains - mewithoutyou, b quiet interlude - david crowder, at the show - mxpx

blessed is the man who

• walks not in the counsel of the wicked
• nor stands in the way of sinners
• nor sits in the seat of scoffers

BUT

• his delight is in the law of the LORD,
• and on his law he meditates day and night.

psalm 1:1-2

DANGER!!!! if the second half (after the "but") does not describe me, i am probably slipping down that slope and becoming comfortable somewhere in the first half...

God, help me to DELIGHT!

not all about me
Now Playing: blessed be Your name - matt redman

he told us how he had seen an angel appear in his house and say, 'send to joppa for simon who is called peter. he will bring you a message through which you and all your household will be saved.' acts 11:13-14

peter is recalling the words of cornelius to him when he came to cornelius' house. as i thought about this verse, it struck me, "God's working in other places, too!" i know, i know - pretty obvious, huh? BUT too many times i forget that He is working in other places/people and not just in me, and it is so cool to see this example where God already had prepared the way for peter to bring the message.

Lord, help me to trust YOU to always be at work - to expect and look for it - and to not be selfish in my view of You!

 

where is my mind?
Now Playing: mat kearney - nothin' left to lose

Matthew 16:23 "But he turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a hinderance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men.'"

what harsh words from Jesus to one of His closest followers! what would be His words to me? am i a hinderance to Christ??? oh God, how i pray not to be... what's a good check? is my mind set on the things of God or the things of men. what a dangerous snare! "let us fix our thoughts on Jesus..."

turnin' notions on their head
Now Playing: when i remember by blindside

Luke 22:24-27  "a dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. and he said to them, "the kings of the gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. but not so with you. rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. for who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? is it not the one who reclines at table? but i am among you as the one who serves."

in considering christian "leadership", it is important to remember that a lot of the world's ideas are turned upside down by Jesus, AND to keep in mind that the most key principle is that it is not so much "me as leader", but that it is "me as follower" of Jesus. THAT is how i lead.

been awhile...
Now Playing: a good feeling by training for utopia

SaTiSfAcTiOn (originally sent 6/6/01)
Topic: actually 2001
matthew 5:6

blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

john 4:34

"my food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work."


**** joy, pleasure, satisfaction, fulfillment - what brings these things about in me? doesn't it all come back around to motivation? can i truly echo Jesus' words or say with the psalmist "as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. my soul thirsts for God for the living God...O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water"? (ps 42:1-2;63:1) or am i more like the "enemies of the cross of Christ" whose "god is their stomach...their mind is on earthly things" (ph 3:18-19) a "lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God" (2 tim 3:4)? consuming fire - consume me!

1 peter 4:1-2

therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. as a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.